Ok, so here’s the deal. This here thing will be about "giving flowers to people while they’re around to smell them." If you’re unfamiliar with this phrase, it’s akin to singing praises and giving credit where credit is due to people before they pass away. Giving them their praise while they’re around to hear it, read it, acknowledge it.
This will not *about* me, though it’s gonna be done by me. I’ve set up some guidelines. One, each post will be specific. It’s not about praising something vague or abstract like “I’m thankful for open air spaces.” Instead, I’d look to praise someone who set up an organization, or runs an organization that does the work to allow me to be in a position to appreciate it. It also means I can’t just post “thank you for being a friend."
Why am I doing this? I heard the phrase years ago, I think originally from a song by The Knitters ("Give Me Flowers While I'm Living"), but possibly before that. But then there was a series of celebrity deaths a number of years ago, especially Anthony Bourdain. It was surprising to me at how many people I knew who were inspired and who used Bourdain as an archetype to model themselves or part of their life after. I wonder now, and will for likely any person who commits suicide, if they were aware, fully aware, of the hole and despair and sense of doom and confusion they cause people after they’ve left. Maybe if they knew, they could have at least stepped back from the proverbial ledge. Not fix the thing that's broken, but at least see that there's people in their corner.
But this post isn’t about that, it’s about the concept of how we missed out on letting someone who was special to us know when we had the opportunity. And that’s a shitty feeling. Both that we lost someone special and the doubt around whether us letting them know they were important. And that’s where this here thing starts.
It was important to me that I let people know they had an impact on my life and have positively impacted my experience getting through this life. I’ve been doing this somewhat privately and publicly over the last couple of years. So to start this here thing, I’m going to chronicle times I’ve already have done this.
In 2018, I sent messages to multiple Instagram accounts to let them know they were important to me and I wanted to acknowledge and thank them for this. The one interaction that I recall because of getting a response was for the account for Baseball Card Vandals. They create sophomoric comedy pictures that includes vandalizing trading cards in ways to become a comedic piece of art. Similar to a cartoon.
High brow art? Low brow humor? Something in between I guess? Here’s what I sent them:
"Seeing folks speak on the influence of Anthony Bourdain on their lives has inspired me. I want you to know, while you’re alive, not as a post once you’re gone, that your work inspires me. I’m not looking for a reply, just want you to know this. Thank you for doing what you do. Have a good weekend."
It felt good to express that, to let them know that what they do means something to someone. I didn’t expect a response, though I did get one:
"Thank you so much for these kind words. We’re so grateful and lucky to be able to do what we do and share it with the world. And the support from people like you keeps us going and fills up our weirdo hearts. Be well and keep spreading the love!"
It was touching to hear back from a stranger whose work I admire. And yes, I know this is likely not what you dear reader may have thought would be my first foray into giving flowers to a stranger. But that’s kind of the point - it doesn’t have to be some sublimely divine creation, a take-your-breath-away moment of intense creative inspiration. There are people we interact with everyday who perform acts that we appreciate, both large and small. They’re there, though we don’t realize our appreciation, or we take it for granted. I don’t want to take that for granted. I’ve learned that it’s helpful for my own mental-health to not only seek out opportunities for gratitude and appreciation, but to also express those feelings to the people who provide them. That’s what this here thing will be - spreading the love to fill up some weirdo hearts.
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